നിസ്സാരം

കുറച്ച് ആപ്പിൾ, ഓറഞ്ച്, തണ്ണിമത്തൻ ഒക്കെ ഒരു പാത്രത്തിൽ ഭംഗിയായി അരിഞ്ഞു വച്ചിരിക്കുന്നു. ഈന്തപ്പഴവും അണ്ടിപ്പരിപ്പും മറ്റൊരു പാത്രത്തിൽ. കയ്യൊക്കെ കഴുകി നോമ്പ് മുറിക്കാൻ കാത്തിരിക്കുകയാണ് അയാൾ. ഇന്ന് ആദ്യത്തെ നോമ്പ് ആണ്.. വേനൽ കടുത്ത് നില്ക്കുന്നതിനാൽ ആകും, സ്വതവേ ആരോഗ്യവാനായ അയാളെ കലശലായ വിശപ്പും ദാഹവും പിടികൂടിയിരുന്നു. ബാങ്ക് വിളി കേട്ടതും അയാൾ അല്പം വെള്ളം കുടിച്ചു. പിന്നീട്, മേശപ്പുറത്തുള്ള വിഭവങ്ങൾ ഒന്നൊന്നായി കഴിക്കാൻ തുടങ്ങി. അപ്പോഴാണ് ഭാര്യ സുബൈദ ഒരു പാത്രം ചൂട് നോമ്പ് കഞ്ഞി മേശപ്പുറത്ത് കൊണ്ട് വച്ചിട്ട് നിസ്കാരിക്കാനായി മുറിയിലേക്ക് പോയത്.

നോമ്പ് കഞ്ഞി അയാൾക്ക് വലിയ ഇഷ്ടമായിരുന്നു. ഉലുവയും കുരുമുളകും വിശിഷ്ടമായ മസാലക്കൂട്ടും ഒക്കെ ചേർന്ന നോമ്പ് കഞ്ഞി ആർക്കാണ് ഇഷ്ടമാകാത്തത്. ഫ്രൂട്ട്സ് ഒക്കെ കഴിഞ്ഞപ്പോൾ  അയാൾ രണ്ട് കയ്യും കൂട്ടിപ്പിടിച്ച് ആവി പറക്കുന്ന കഞ്ഞിപ്പാത്രം എടുത്തു. ആർത്തിയോടെ പാത്രം ചുണ്ടോട് അടുപ്പിച്ച്. പെട്ടെന്നാണ് കാര്യങ്ങൾ കലങ്ങി മറിഞ്ഞത്. വായിലേക്ക് എടുത്ത കഞ്ഞി അതേ വേഗത്തിൽ അയാൾ പാത്രത്തിലേക്ക് തുപ്പി. ക്രോധം അയാളുടെ സകല നാഡീ ഞരമ്പുകളിലൂടെയും തലച്ചോറിലേക്ക് ഇരച്ചു കയറി. ദേഷ്യം കൊണ്ട് അയാൾ ചെറുതായി വിറയ്ക്കുന്നുണ്ടായിരുന്നു.

കഞ്ഞിക്ക് ഭയങ്കര ഉപ്പ്!!  കഴിഞ്ഞ ആഴ്ച ഇത് പോലെ മീൻ കറിക്ക് ഉപ്പ് കൂടിയിരുന്നു. “ഉപ്പ് അല്പം കുറഞ്ഞാലും കുഴപ്പമില്ല. പിന്നീട് ആവശ്യത്തിന് വേണമെങ്കിൽ ചെറക്കാം. പക്ഷേ, ഉപ്പ് കൂടിയാൽ പിന്നെ ഒന്നും ചെയ്യാൻ പറ്റില്ല. അതുകൊണ്ട്, ദയവു ചെയ്ത് നീ ആഹാരത്തിൽ ഉപ്പ് കുറച്ച് ഇടൂ” എന്ന് അയാൾ അന്ന് സുബൈദയോട് പറഞ്ഞതാണ്. എന്നിട്ട് ഇപ്പോൾ അവൾ ചെയ്ത് വച്ചിരിക്കുന്നത് നോക്ക്.. അയാൾക്ക് ദേഷ്യം അടക്കാനായില്ല. “എടീ സുബൈദാ..” മുറിയിലേക്ക് നോക്കി അയാൾ അലറി.

തന്റെ ഭാര്യ നിസ്കരിച്ചുകൊണ്ട് ഇരിക്കുന്ന മുറിക്ക് അടുത്തുള്ള മുറിയിലെ കർട്ടന്റെ വിടവിലൂടെ ആരോ തന്നെ തുറിച്ച് നോക്കുന്നതു പോലെ അയാൾക്ക് തോന്നി. കഞ്ഞിപ്പാത്രം മേശമേൽ വച്ച് അയാൾ പതുക്കെ എഴുന്നേറ്റു. ആ മുറിയിൽ ലൈറ്റ് ഇട്ടിട്ടില്ല. എങ്കിലും, അരണ്ട വെളിച്ചത്തിൽ രണ്ട് കണ്ണുകൾ തന്നെ നോക്കുന്നുണ്ട് എന്നു അയാൾ തെല്ല് ഭയത്തോടെ മനസ്സിലാക്കി. മുറിയുടെ തൊട്ട് മുന്നിൽ എത്തിയ അയാൾ ധൈര്യം സംഭരിച്ച് കർട്ടൺ വളരെ വേഗത്തിൽ ഒറ്റ വലിക്ക് വകഞ്ഞു മാറ്റി.

അതി ശക്തമായ പ്രകാശമേറ്റ് അയാളുടെ കണ്ണ് മഞ്ഞളിച്ച് പോയി. പടച്ചവനേ ഇതെന്താണ് സംഭവിക്കുന്നത്! അയാൾ ആകെ പകച്ചു പോയി. തന്റെ മുറിയും വീടും ഒക്കെ എവിടയോ പൊയ്പ്പോയി. വെളുത്ത മണലും, വലിയ പാറ കുന്നുകളും കുറ്റിച്ചെടികളും നിറഞ്ഞ തുറസ്സായ ഒരു പ്രദേശത്താണ് അയാൾ ഇപ്പോൾ നിലകുന്നത്. മുഖത്തേക്ക് അസഹ്യമായ ചൂട് കാറ്റ് വീശുന്നുണ്ട്. അയാൾ കണ്ണുകൾ ഇറുക്കി അടച്ചു. ഒരു പക്ഷേ, ഇനി കണ്ണ് തുറക്കുമ്പോൾ തന്റെ വീട്ടിലെ മേശക്ക് മുന്നിൽ ഇരിക്കുന്നതാണ് കാണുന്നത് എങ്കിലോ എന്ന് അയാൾ ആശിച്ചു. ഇല്ല.. താൻ ഇപ്പോഴും ആ തരിശ് ഭൂമിയില് തന്നെ. അതാ കുറച്ച് അകലെയായി തന്നെ തുറിച്ചു നോക്കിയ ആ കണ്ണുകൾ!!

പത്തോ പന്ത്രണ്ടോ വയസ്സു തോന്നിക്കുന്ന ഒരു പെൺകുട്ടി ആയിരുന്നു അത്. അവളുടെ ഇടതു കൈപ്പത്തി അറ്റ് പോയിരുന്നു. വല്ലാതെ മെലിഞ്ഞ, തീർത്തും അവശയായ ഒരു പെൺകുട്ടി. അവൾ വേച്ചു വേച്ച് അയാൾക്ക് അരികിലേക്ക് നടന്നു. സമീപത്ത് എവിടെയോ നിന്ന് ഉഗ്രമായ സ്ഫോടന ശബ്ദങ്ങൾ കേൾക്കാം. ഭയം കൊണ്ട് അയാൾ സ്തബ്ദനായി നിന്ന് പോയി.  അവൾ അയാളുടെ തൊട്ട് മുന്നിൽ എത്തിയിരിക്കുന്നു. അപ്പോഴാണ് അയാൾ അത് ശ്രദ്ധിച്ചത്. അവളുടെ വലത്  കയ്യില് എന്തോ ചുരുട്ടി പിടിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട്. അവൾ അത് അയാൾക്ക് നേരെ നീട്ടി നിഷ്കളങ്കമായി പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു. അയാൾ അത് കയ്യില് വാങ്ങി തന്റെ മുഖത്തോട് അടുപ്പിച്ച് നോക്കി.. വളരെ പരുക്കനായ ഒരു ചെറിയ കഷണം റൊട്ടി. അവളുടെ വിരലുകളിലെ മുറിവിൽ നിന്ന് പൊടിഞ്ഞ രക്തം അതിൽ ഉണങ്ങി  കറ പിടിച്ചിരുന്നു. ചോരയുടെ ഉപ്പ് രസമുള്ള റൊട്ടിക്കഷണം അയാളുടെ കയ്യിൽ ഇരുന്ന് വിറച്ചു.

“നിങ്ങൾ എന്നെ വിളിച്ചാരുന്നോ” നിസ്കാരം കഴിഞ്ഞു വന്ന സുബൈദ ചോദിച്ചു. “ഓ.. ഒന്നുമില്ല. കഞ്ഞിക്ക് ഉപ്പ് ലേശം കൂടിപ്പോയി എന്ന് തോന്നുന്നു. സാരമില്ല” അയാൾ പറഞ്ഞു.

Gavarnment Business

I had just bought my first laptop and wanted to subscribe for a wireless internet connection. There is a TAATAA indikkOm office near my apartment. One day I visited it, only to enquire about the tariffs of their Foton wireless broadband service. The young beautiful girl there welcomed me with a sensuous smile as if she had been waiting just for me all the day. She not only explained to me the different usage plans I could opt for but also tried her best to make me buy one on the spot. I had different plans though.

                I thought it’ll be better to go for a Beeyessennal connection. It’d be more economical. Moreover, the socialist in me wouldn’t be comfortable being a customer of those profit hungry, unethical, bourgeoisie,  private (even if they were Indian) companies. Thus started my search for a  Beeyessennal  Customer care center in my locality in Hyderabad. I found out the outlets of all the internet service providers in India (even emteeyes), except  Beeyessennal . I was told that they had an office in the nearby town.  There too I found the outlets of Taattaa, Rilayans etc in prominent places (with all their alluring offers and equally alluring brand ambassadors displayed all over the place) but couldn’t find Beeyessennal . At last one man I asked pointed to a big shabby building a little away from the center of the town.

                Though I wandered inside that building’s compound no sign of a Beeyessennal   office could be found. Did that man fool me? No telephone company would have their office at such a secluded place. A passer by showed me a staircase at the far end of the building. I started climbing the dirty steps still in disbelief. And lo! There it was! A dingy, isolated office which had an old rusty iron board with the words ” Beeyessennal   customer care center” and a lot of crow shit on it.

                Inside, there were many old wooden tables and chairs, lots of wires and two aunties and one grandma chatting with each other, enjoying a wonderful lazy afternoon. I stood there for some time, before I got the kind attention of the grandma. “I’d like to take a wireless internet connection” I said politely. She stared at me as if I asked her something I was not supposed to ask and pointed to the next desk. There I repeated my polite words. “oh.. 3G yaa?” she asked. ‘No No..’ I said and started explaining what I was looking for. The other aunty also pitched in to help her colleague. After some animated dialogue with me and between themselves, I was relieved to hear one of them say..  ‘Oh.. data cardaaa?’

                I smiled from ear to ear and nodded eagerly. The triumphant auntie pointed to a table at the corner of the room and said  ‘’That madam is in charge of data cards’’. I looked at the table. Then I looked back at the lady.. all the more puzzled. The chair behind that table was empty!  In a sympathetic tone and with a frown, she continued  ‘’..but that madam has gone home a little early today. You’ll have to come tomorrow only’’

“Thank you” said I, and went straight to buy a Taattaafoton. What if it’s a ‘kuthaka muthalali’ company? It’s an Indian kuthaka muthalaali, after all. (Am I being a neo liberal socialist?)

Disclaimer:

This is a purely fictional account which in no way is related to real people or organisations. Any  such resemblance is ‘thikachum yadrishchikam’ only. 😛

Hyderabad, 2011

Memories.. cherished.

Memories.. cherished..

Getting Lost!

This hope.. The hope that an unlikely dream’d come true some day.. It’s like dark chocolate. One can argue that it’s bitter. But can chocolate get any better?     It’s the ultimate! The sweetest chocolate.. the sweetest pain.

The New Year was just a few days away. I already had my New Year resolution ready: ‘Not to get lost anymore’. Yes… It was high time i stopped getting lost.. in her thoughts. Life was too boring for me, as i didn’t have anything interesting to think about. I needed something to bother about. I sought pain and  got the sweetest of it. For nothing, I strained to make these beautiful patterns, irrational and complicated. Turning itself into a mad maze from which i couldn’t find a way out. But just went round and round, thoroughly enjoying that unsahikkable desperation to find a way out. Yes!! I got lost!!

I’d wake up from her thoughts with a start to realise that I was in the middle of brushing my teeth. The tooth paste foam would’ve started dripping down from the corner of my lips even as the brush moved to and fro, involuntarily. I’d think about the things I needed to tell her the next time we met (on line) and later realise that I’m in the office canteen with a cold cup of tea on the table.  I’d look into her beautiful eyes that glitter behind those thick, nerdy spectacles.. and smile unto myself, completely disregarding the purpose of my sitting on the toilet seat since eternity.

As I waited at the bus stop.. or read the newspaper or browsed the net, thoughts about her would come with a rush, sweep me off the floor and get me drowned in it. It’d fill my lungs making it difficult to take in another breath. Only then I came back to my senses.

This ‘getting lost’ played havoc with my daily routine. Everything started taking more time than usual. Even while scribbling this, I’m not sure for how long my hands went stiff with the pen clutched loosely in it. Lost.. in thoughts. Yes!! Almost everything (including this scribbling) took longer than it ought to have taken.   It was only natural that I started getting late to office. In spite of my best efforts, I kept on reaching the office 5 or sometimes even 15 mins late. Every single day.

” But, today should be different’’ said I, hitting my fist hard on the wall.  Was it during breakfast or while walking to the bus stop that I got lost? All I knew was that it was 10:02 am as I got down at the Office bus stop. As I passed the office gate, the watch showed 10:05. The gate keeper stared at me with a question mark on his face. I was on training those days and our training room was in the fourth floor. I flew over the stairs, two steps at a time (Govt. office. No lift). I breezed through the corridor and stopped in front of the room. The door was closed. All my colleagues would be inside listening to the trainer. “I got into the wrong bus’’ or ‘there was a traffic diversion as the road was under repair’. Keeping these two excuses ready, I slowly pushed the door open.

Absolute silence greeted me !! I stared at the empty chairs and the still ceiling fans before me. Did they shift the class room again? I took out my mobile and dialled one of my colleagues to find out where they were. Even before it began to ring I suddenly disconnected. ‘Something is wrong’ I told myself and took unsure steps to the other part of the office. No one was there. Oh..!  This cannot be… I checked the phone’s calendar to find that it was Saturday. And Saturday happens to be a holiday for my office!! Did this actually happen? Can I be that stupid? Oh.. this is real. How  shameful of me!! I whispered to myself in utter disbelief.

Slowly I sneaked out of the building. The gatekeeper gave me that earlier look again. This time I understood why there was a big question mark on his eyes but I just looked straight and walked as if everything was normal. I went straight to the bus stop. It was only 10:15 am. What should I do now?  Didn’t feel like going back to my room. So got into the next bus and got down at a nearby shopping centre. Saw a cinema theatre nearby and decided to punish myself for being so stupid. Watched ‘The Chronicles of Narnia’ dubbed in Telugu!

Isn’t this too much? Just because u’ve a crush on someone do u get so absent minded and go to office on holidays? This crush is to be crushed to dust. It’d  cause lot of pain otherwise.  To give up is very painful and discouraging. Still I keep on  trying to give up. Just can’t give up trying.. because I’ve promised to try. Guess I’ve been talking about her longer than I intended to. I’ve to admit.. just now, I got lost again. Where was i? what was I doing when I started this talk? Oh oh… all I wish now is not to wake up from these thoughts to realise that I was in the middle of ironing my favourite shirt!!

Memories.. cherished.

ഇന്നലെ കണ്ട പനിനീര്‍പ്പൂവിന് ഇന്ന് പുതിയൊരു ഭംഗി.  മഴ പെയ്യുമ്പോള്‍ ഹൃദയത്തില്‍  മുന്‍പില്ലാത്തൊരു ആര്‍ദ്രത. സംഗീതവും, സാഹിത്യവും, സിനിമയും, മഴയും, പൂവും എന്നുവേണ്ട പ്രകൃതിയുടെ സൌന്ദര്യം മുഴുവന്‍ മുന്‍പൊരിക്കലും സാധ്യമാകാത്ത വിധം അനുഭവവേദ്യമാകുന്നു. ഞാന്‍ ഒരു കലാകാരനായി മാറുകയാണ്‌. മനസ്സ് പ്രണയാര്‍ദ്രവും..

The Board exams were finally over and I was thoroughly enjoying the summer vacation; street cricket by the day and Doordarshan by the night when all of a sudden, my dad got this idea of sending me to a  personality development course. I protested with all my might. “Did great personalities like Mahatma Gandhi go to such courses?” I thundered. Next morning, dad rode his bike to the training center, while I sat pillion with a sunken heart. The class was conducted in a big hall and many children were seated on the floor.  I too found a place among them. As the training progressed the children began to make their own friend circles. I too got myself into a group and there began a few lifelong friendships. The group consisted of children mostly younger than me. Only one among them was the same age as I; a lean, long-haired girl (let’s call her.. ummm.. Sreedevi).   All of us became thick friends by the second day, and talked to each other as if we had been friends for long. Needless to say, I had no qualms about attending the course from then on.

Once, we were made to do some yoga. As we sat in line, Sreedevi and I happened to be next to each other (by pure coincidence, of course!). We had to sit cross-legged and hold the left leg with both the hands and rock it to and fro just like rocking a baby to sleep.  While doing it, I whispered to Sreedevi with a naughty smile “This would come in handy someday ;)”. She glanced through the corner of her eye and shot back “You too can try doing it someday”.  She might’ve meant a ‘tit for tat’, but I liked the way it was told. The next day, during the recess hour, I found her reading the palm of a kid. I went near and stood watching curiously. Once done with the kid, she asked me to sit down and in a quick motion took my palm in her hand. After making an elaborate show of studying it carefully, she said “It seems you are deeply in love with someone! Am I right?” “Yes” answered I, without thinking. “Tell me her name?” she demanded. Checkmate!   In fact, I was not in love with anyone, barring a slight crush on the girl who posed the question.  “Can’t tell you her name. I’m sorry” saying this I got up and escaped from the scene.

And then came the final day of the course. I was busy chatting with some friends when she came near me and whispered:

“I saw you in my dream yesterday”.

“Oh really! What did you see?”

“I won’t tell you”

“All right.. don’t tell”  I  feigned disinterest.

Now, the day was nearing its end. Within a few minutes all of us would leave, not to come back the next day. It was really surprising that in a few days time I got so attached to a handful of friends that the thought of leaving them left a lump in my throat. Everyone was busy saying goodbyes and exchanging phone numbers when she came to me and said “I will tell you about the dream, if you promise to tell me that girl’s name”.  “Okei.. Tell me about your dream” said I while planning to invent a name to tell her. “Well.. it’s a secret and I can’t tell it here” saying this she gripped my hand and dragged me out of the hall to the lonely corridor.

“It was in this hall..” she began after taking a deep breath. “Our friends were not there. Only we two… and…  you told me “I love you””. The last few words simply didn’t register in my brain. Just to make sure I asked “What..?? What did I tell you?”

“You told me that you loved me” she said meekly.

The whole world started spinning around me. I turned away from her and caught on the railings of the corridor for balance. There was a sudden surge of happiness, fear, a feeling of great responsibility and absolute thrill with which my heart swelled. Turning around I asked “Which course was your sister studying?” I can still recall the confused look on her face,  on hearing that most irrelevant question. I desperately needed to buy some time before responding to the problem at hand. “She’s doing MBA” she answered without interest, despair looming in her face.

“Can’t you just see me as a friend?”

“I can’t”

“All right. What do you like the most in me?”

“I don’t know…”

Sensing that no positive response was coming from me, she blurted out “You must be thinking that I’m a bad girl. I’m sorry..” and the early signs of an ensuring sob appeared on her charming face. “I can’t hold it any more. I will cry” she said with moist eyes. “My dear.. no.. no.. pleeease.. don’t cry.” I pleaded in a hushed voice. If she cried people would notice and I was in no mood to invent a reasonable explanation. Some of our friends were already glancing at us from far. “Sreedevi.. are you not an ardent devotee of Krishna?” She nodded. “He shall make all your dreams come true” saying this I gently touched her shoulder and led her back to the main hall.

That night I thought hard about this whole episode and decided to follow my heart. Remember, those were the days of landline phones. Next day, I dialled her number. As the bell rang at the other end, I could hear my heart thumping inside my ears.  “Hello” answered a female voice. It sounded like her, but I had to make sure; “May I speak to Sreedevi”. “I’m Sreedevi” she replied in a hushed voice.  I cleared up my throat and said “Just wanted to tell you something. I love you” and dropped the receiver without waiting for a response. The next few days, I virtually floated in the air!! And the air was dense with love. There was a new spring in my steps and always a pleasant tune on my lips.

A few days later, I went to Kottayam to spend a day at my uncle’s place. When I returned mom told “A girl had called asking for you. She called twice”. I ran to the phone immediately and dialled her number. A woman, probably her mother, answered and said Sreedevi was not there. After waiting for an hour I called once more, only to hear the earlier response in a less cordial tone. I grew restless and impatient by the minute and couldn’t help pressing the ‘redial’ button after a couple of hours. This time the woman at the other end simply exploded “I AM SREEDEVI’S MOTHER. NEVER DISTURB HER AGAIN”. I froze in the chair. What a shock it was! Like a sudden wind, unkindly blowing out a beautiful candle flame.

The reason for such a violent response was beyond my comprehension. Her mom would have sensed something fishy (mothers do have a knack for that!) and would have demanded an explanation from her.  The most pragmatic explanation would be “It’s this guy whom I met during the training course. He’s such a nuisance.”  No one could blame her, if she actually told that.  After two weeks, I couldn’t wait any longer and called once more. Again it was a female voice, but could not make sure whose. So I just cut the call. This happened a few more times during the next month. And one day I dialed the number, praying all the while to hear Sreedevi’s voice at the other end.

“Hello”

My heart skipped a beat. Oh! that same sweet voice which I was dying to hear. “Sree.. It’s me!”

“Ah.. you again!! I’m not Sree, but her mom. Hang the call you …”

The receiver was slammed back before she could finish. I kicked the wall in frustration and cried out in pain. Physical harm is a source of comfort, when your heart goes numb with hopelessness and embarrassment. There was no way to get in touch with her now. Many a month had passed and she had not called once. May be, she regretted opening her heart to me and thought of it as a very foolish, impulsive act.. (which it really was!).

To forget her was impossible as there were a whole lot of things that brought a rush of her thoughts to my mind. The songs of ‘Kaho na pyar hai’ and ‘Nandanam’ which were her favorites, the buses of the school in which she studied (I knew she went to school in one those and always scanned them for her face. And lo!! All the girls in the bus had her face!).  any car resembling the old red  Maruthi 800 her father drove.  .. and the list goes on..

Meanwhile, 11th standard classes had commenced and I got busy with studies. Instead of making any serious effort to get in touch with her,  I simply made myself believe that she still loved me with all her heart. This feeling of being loved gave me such great confidence that I was altogether transformed into a different person. The introvert boy who used to struggle with his studies, now actively participated in many extracurricular activities while doing exceptionally well in academics. And guess what.. he was declared the best student of the school, two years in a row!! The charm she cast started wearing away after a couple of years. Still, she never called!

Was that love? Even if it was, did it not fail?  How do you know if your love was successful? Memories!! If it gifted you invaluable memories that would be cherished throughout your life, then your love was successful!.   We had seen each other only for a few days. We didn’t go to the movies nor did we spent time over the phone. Still I’ve with me these invaluable memories. It was more of a fantasy than reality. Yet, this ‘feeling’ helped bring out the best in me. I hope it did the same to her. Of course, I had a choice there. One could have wasted his/her life over an incident like this and made a disaster out of it. We choose our destiny, don’t we?

The Other Side:

For the past few days Sreedevi had been incessantly talking about this boy she met at the training. I couldn’t help noticing the sparkle in her eyes every time she mentioned his name. From what she says, it would seem that he is the best boy in the world and that makes me a bit uneasy. Sree was leaning over a book busy drawing something when the phone rang. I answered the call. It was the boy she had been talking about. “May I speak to Sreedevi?” he asked in an unsure way. Should I let him?  My daughter’s voice was indistinguishable from mine, especially when heard over the phone. “I’m Sreedevi” said I in a hushed voice, sounding as natural as I could.

The legend who never was…

Being a left handed kid who used to say ‘I want to be a cricketer’ if someone asked what he wanted to be in life, it was only natural that Vinod Kambli became my childhood hero. During the 1996 worldcup, he was the only left handed batsman in the Indian squad.. and that was when my cricket frenzy was at its peak. In my little cricket bat (read a piece of wood which resembled a bat) I had written the words ‘Four Square’ and drew the trade mark just as other kids wrote ‘MRF’.

Kambli was the most flamboyant cricketer of his times. Back then, cricket was more of a gentleman’s game than it is today. Cricketeres were not expected to show much emotion in the field. But Kambli acted according to his heart. After taking a catch, he would throw the ball up in the air and dance around a little before catching it again. Sometimes, he would take the risk of juggling the ball in his hands for a few seconds before catching it firmly. (Ofcourse, he was one of the few in the team who fielded without bothering much about their clothes getting dirty.

Kambli stood out from his counterparts for his unorthodox ways. He was unconventional even in the way he positioned before the wicket while batting. His bat would be held  high, in the back lift position, with all the three stumps exposed to the bowler. Dancing down the pitch and attempting a six in the very first ball of an over was natural to him. (Kambli started his Ranji career with a six off the first ball he faced!!) In those days, I think very few indian batsmen (like Sidhu) had that kind of reckless, aggressive attitude. In the cricket pitch, he treated the great bowlers of his time like Warne and Ambrose with little respect. Not conforming to the conventional image of a gentleman cricketer earned him the label ‘indisciplined cricketer’. The people who controlled the game in those days thought that Kambli was too flamboyant to be a cricketer, but none disagreed that he was extremely talented. I wonder, what they would have called Sreesanth if he played in those times!!

What excited me the most about Kambli was his childhood. His friendship with Sachin. Isn’t their story really fantastic..? Two kids who played for their school cricket team. They play an unbeaten world record partnership of 664 runs (Kambli: 349 and Sachin: 315) and turn celebrities overnight. Later Sachin gets selected to the national team. Kambli joins the team soon after. They both become the young stars of the team and remaining the best of friends all the while.  Hailing from the suburbs of Bombay.. from middle class families, they showed us that ours is great nation where anyone who is talented and determined, can reach the heights he/she deserves. Fantastic as a fairy tale! Kambli’s career too had a fairy tale beginning at the age of 20. He amassed more than 1000 runs  from his first 14 test innings, a feat not matched by any other indian cricketer till date. But his test career ended at the age of 24. Unbelievable!!

His one day career virtually ended with the infamous semi final match of 96 world cup. A match which no indian cricket fan can ever forget. That match, ironically, has great similarities to the career of Vinod Kambli. Playing their first ever world cup semi final, Srilanka  looked doomed when they lost 2 wickets with only 1 run on the score board. But the Indian players, with immense ground support and early wickets got carried away and let the game slip from their hands. Exactly the same thing that happened with Kambli. He simply got carried away with his early and incredible success. Just imagine how fantastic it would have been if India had played sensibly and won that match against Srilanka. India would have most probably gone all the way and became the world champions in 1996 itself. How glorious would it have been!!  Yes.. I believe, we could have got an equally glorious cricketer out of Kambli, only if he had the level headedness of his legendary friend. And yes, that match had an ubrupt and unfortunate ending. So did Kambli’s career.

 As I listened to the emotional farewell speech of Sachin, I couldn’t help remembering his not so lucky friend. I eagerly waited for Sachin to talk about that school partnership which fuelled the process of making a legend out of him. At last, when Sachin told about the greatest partnership he ever had, I listened even more intenly. But that turned out to be a googly as Sachin meant his wonderful life partner, and not his estranged schoolmate.

 Thankyou Vinod Kambli for bringing fun and life to the game of cricket, at a time when cricketers were expected to be too serious. Thankyou for those tears of sincerety.. when you were forced to run back to the pavillion in an unfinished match.  Thankyou for all the wonderful cricket you played. (thankyou YouTube for preserving some of it) Vinod Ganpat Kambli- A legend.. who never was.

Blessings for sale!!!

 Many great religions of the world have their roots in the fertile soil of India. It is unfortunate that this sacred land of ours is now looted by a group of mischievous business men who deal in religion and faith. They manufacturer and sell “blessings”. You can buy it and restore your health, excel in academics/profession, solve family problems, get children or even get your visa cleared for a job abroad !!

           The manufacturers claim that beneficiaries of these products cut across religious boundaries. In order to flourish their business, they dug out many age old superstitions and other social evils which were once buried by the brave social reformers of our land. Due to their intelligent marketing techniques, we see places of worship being flooded with funds.

The common man’s fear and love towards God is exploited by many so called ‘spiritual’ leaders and institutions. The greatest strength of such people is the ignorance of believers. I’d call a medical student ignorant, if he buys a ‘holy’ thread (whether it is red, black or green in color) worth Rs5 or 50 hoping that it’d help him pass the exams.. even if he passes with flying colors. I’d call a scientist ignorant if he spends money on an astrologer to find the most ‘auspicious’ time to push the start button of a rocket!

            Most of believers in God are more interested in performing the rites and rituals of their respective religions dutifully, than in understanding the true message of those religions. The religious authorities and parents try to instill a ‘No proof, no reasoning, no questions.. just believe’ attitude in our minds at a very early age. So, most of us have a notion that religion forbids man from making independent, critical studies about God. The fact is that the major religions of the world encourage critical analysis and discourage blind acceptance of their own teachings.

In the Bhagwat Gita, we see Krishna telling Arjuna: “I’ve imparted you the deepest knowledge. Now you may analyze my advice and do whatever you think fit”  

           The Holy Bible says, “My loved ones, do not put your faith in every spirit, but put them to the test, to see if they are from God: because a great number of false prophets have gone out into the world.”(1 John 4:1) In the Bible , we see a 12 year old Jesus (peace be upon him) debating with the Jewish teachers. He forbade the people of Israel from following their rabbis blindly. Do we have courage to question our ‘rabbis’?

           “Seeing they see not, hearing they hear not and neither do they understand.” said Jesus about those who do not use their eyes, ears and brains to understand God. “Did we not give him two eyes? A tongue and two lips?. Did we not show him the two clear paths?(right and wrong)”asks the Holy Quran

          We shouldn’t confine ourselves to the religion to which we were born in. Let’s be broad minded and curious enough to learn about our friends’ religion too.

“Those who listen carefully to the word and follow the best in it.. Those are the ones whom God has guided, and those are men of understanding” says the Quran

“Test everything. Hold on to the good.” says the Bible (1 Thessalonians 5:21).

“Gain knowledge from all directions” said the sages of ancient India.

            Though all these religions urge man to make an unprejudiced study about his Creator, most of us turn a deaf ear to this message. We youngsters, should be bold enough to become rational believers, rather than blind ones. Let’s us take efforts to know ours as well our neighbors’ religion. Such broad mindedness alone can result in long lasting religious harmony, I believe.

            Wiping out all the irrational believes is not practical. God has made man a rational being. The faculty of reason is what makes man different from other animals. But He gave us the choice to use it or not. And He doesn’t mess with our right not to use it. It’s for you and me to decide..

“Asathoma sadgamaya.. thamasoma jyothirgamaya” Oh..God.. lead us from falsehood to the truth… lead us from darkness(of ignorance) to light (of knowledge).. How beautiful a prayer!

DREAM RAIN…

 The winds have come,

Bringing heavy clouds along.

 

Behind those clouds

The stars are hiding.

May be they are scared

Of thunder and lightning.

 

It has started drizzling.

I lay on my bed, listening.

 

It’s very cold out there.

How I wish you were here!

 

With your warm smile

And that touch of care.

We could go out in the rain

Holding an umbrella.

And walk   for a while,

Oh, my Cinderella…

Alas.. We are miles apart.

But still, we shall

Enjoy this rain,

At least through 

The windowpane.

.

Strangers !!

We were strangers,
before we came to know
each other.

Then we became friends..
Really good friends.

Later, we stopped being friends.
Turned enemies. Bitter enemies.

But, that’s the farthest
we could get.

That’s when we realised,
We can’t go back to being strangers.

Ever..

An Internal Conversation

Hearty: “Buddy…, I think I’m in love”

Brainy : “Are you nuts? It’s just those hormones playing a trick on you”

Hearty: “No. I think it’s God’s Will at play.. It’s Divine work, dude. ”

Brainy : “Looks like devil’s work to me”

Hearty: “What about all those wonderful things that are happening in my life.. You think it’s mere coincidence?”

Brainy : “Chill… Yours is just a ‘love of convenience’. Now tell me.. why do u look so unusually red now a days? any increase in hemoglobin levels..?”

Hearty: “It’s because of the love that’s filling my insides. Is not red the colour of love?”

Brainy : “But I heard someone say that red was for DANGER”

Hearty: “Well.. then, I’m in love with Ms Danger, herself.”

Brainy : “Oh.. that Ms Danger!  Why her?  You could’ve gone for Ms Beautiful or Ms Wealthy or Ms Kitchenqueen.”

Hearty: ” ‘why her?’.. may I ask, ‘why not her?’. in fact i don’t know y it has to be her. i just know that it has to be her.

Brainy : “My dear.. I think there’s no point in talking to you. Get well soon..”

Hearty: “You better take a look at yourself before u say that”

Brainy: “Why?”

Hearty: “A strange redness is slowly spreading all over you.”

Brainy : “I’ll take care of that.  Hearty.. since you are so hopelessly in love, i’m gonna tell her now.”

Hearty: “You will not.”

Brainy : “Why not? I just want to help u.”

Hearty: “Thankyou.  But now.. I AM TOO MUCH IN LOVE WITH HER TO LET HER FALL IN LOVE WITH A DUMB ASS LIKE  ME”

Brainy : “Hearty dear.. now u talk sense.. LOL”

Hearty: a faint smile.. ” 🙂 ”

NOTE: Based on a series of real life conversations.